Sherrie's Blog

<p>What are we to do with this, friends? Can we educate ourselves about these topics and be willing to lunge forward into forgiveness? It would be scary, like standing on the high dive platform before deciding to jump in. But, oh, if we do, we will be washed clean from bitterness and healed from loss and grief. </p>

<p>How I identify with the message of the framed print above my bedroom table named: “My Sandcastle.” It pictures blue skies, a sandy beach, and a four-year-old girl straddling a two- foot-tall sandcastle. Busy at work, she slaps handful upon handful of wet sand upon her creation, oblivious to the seagulls flying overhead or the [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Just like the band&#8217;s drum major twirls a silver stick with two rubber ends, adoptive mamas must do much the same&#8211;always marching, moving forward, and directing. The two ends of her baton are adoptee self-worth and suicide, which in my adoptee mind, are untouchables. Mamas are ultra aware of this tension..in fact, hyper-vigilant. They hear about rising adoptee suicides and can&#8217;t imagine such pain coming upon their teen, or their family. Secretly, they may

<p>It takes something special to develop a Marine-like heart in the world of adoption. A person with a Marine-like heart has completed the hard work of getting free from his painful past or condemning self. Because he has nearly experienced death in this process, he has compassion for those that are hurting. The US Marines [&hellip;]</p>

<p>A fellow adoptee friend told me that many adoptees and foster kids have a ! (exclamation mark) following their name. At first, I didn&#8217;t know what she meant, but as she elaborated the meaning, Anne of Green Gables came to mind. If you&#8217;ve watched this fascinating series, you would likely agree that Anne has a certain zest for life. Everything she says and does almost paints a picture with words. For those that have seen the movie, recall how Anne would burst into

<p>And as a child, I would step on her toes really, really hard. I mean, I loved to step on her toes. It gave me a lot of pleasure. I know that&#8217;s really, really sad, but when you understand the reason why that was occurring, then you won&#8217;t blame me, or shame me. But, that is a dynamic that happens to a lot of adoptive parents, foster parents and their kids.</p>

<p>Dear all kinds of parents, fellow adoptees and foster kids&#8230; Every year, I watch the Christmas movie called ELF, mostly because my beliefs about Christmas, myself, and others in my story&#8211;adoptive mother and dad, ring familiar. We can use the movie as a springboard for discussing the challenges of Christmas that many adopted and foster [&hellip;]</p>

<p> My journey into the world of adoption began exactly 17 years ago with a visit to an orphanage, a world away from my middle-class American life. It was early November 2004 and I’d arrived in Kyiv, Ukraine, six weeks earlier for what was intended to be an eight-month postcollege ministry adventure. I was twenty-three years [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Whenever I teach this point during a training, many parents get upset. I wonder why. Are they offended that they&#8217;re saying the wrong word? Are they embarrassed, like someone caught with their pants down? Or, are they ticked off because they supposedly know better than anyone what the child needs&#8230;and how the child feels?&#8221; Really? Is it about the correctness of the word or how he feels and reacts when singled out?</p>

<p>Unfortunately, the subject of escalating stress between prospective and new moms isn’t discussed by the majority of adoption agencies, child protective services, or adoption professionals. Some agencies are required by State law to provide this type of education and preparation, but for others, it’s too scary to broach the topic. What adoption professional is brave enough to tell prospective parents that their child may reject not only their love, but them? Isn’t this acti

<p>My son and his beautiful girlfriend conceived you out of marriage. As parents we loved the two of them and hoped they might marry, but at ages sixteen and eighteen it seemed unwise. Our children wanted to make the foolish, but understandable choice to abort their unplanned pregnancy without telling us. When they revealed their secret, we parents assisted them for a time, even to the point of taking your birthmother to a nearby town for a procedure. We couldn’t follow throu

<p>Who can even imagine how Retha felt? Perhaps, like a bucket of ice water was thrown on her? She probably shook in shock, like anyone when something unfathomable happened. Where was Mike? Was he holding her close? Knowing him for a lifetime, he was probably running for the back bedroom. And, there Retha was. All alone. No one to help her, no one who had the presence of mind to hold her close, even my grandmother.</p>

<p>What comes to mind when you think about initiating a conversation with your child about his birth family? Do you feel defensive, like the birth family is the enemy to be avoided at all  costs? Do you feel sad, and does your lip begin to quiver at the thought of their possible presence in your child&#8217;s life? Do you fear your child will love them more than he loves you? If so, this section is especially for you. Kids are experts at reading body language. You can&#8217;t

<p>Adoptive and foster parents, would you consider the possibility of phantom pain in regard to your adopted child&#8217;s relinquishment wound? A great example of an amputee with phantom pain is Amy Purdy, the Olympian whose legs were amputated from the knees down. The location of pain for an amputee is the body, brain, and spirit. [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Hell yes, adoptees are angry! Excuse my French&#8230;I’m just a veteran adoptee, finally free from anger’s choking grip, and ready to hunt bear on behalf of my fellow adoptees and foster kids who believe that their anger might be a life sentence.</p> <p>Up until now, most adoptees have believed there’s no hope for resolving overwhelming and uncontrollable anger issues. They accept “I&#8217;m just an angry person” misbelief.  Many adoption agencies hid the topic of our ange

<p>Specific present-day circumstances can trigger my profound wound of losing Elizabeth, my first Mom. What I&#8217;m about to share is personal and I&#8217;m asking that you&#8217;ll read with mercy and grace. I hope this post will be helpful to both adoptive parents and fellow adoptees who struggle with abandonment and rejection issues. Perhaps, for these, the flow of painful memories might be uncontrollable. And, these painful memories become triggers that cause a meltdow

<p>Most adoptive parents will identify with the challenges of raising an adopted child. The mother and father were brother and sister and had never raised children. They made typical mistakes that almost all parents do, but the challenges were often magnified because they had no backstory, no parental training or education, and no awareness that parenting an adopted child is taxing, to say the least. Anne really got on their nerves with her hyper excitement and boldness in re

<p>Who can even imagine how Retha felt? Perhaps, like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on her? She must have shaken in shock, like we all do when something unfathomable happens. It would be easy for her to read rejection into my screams. “Maybe my baby doesn’t like me, or maybe I’m not suited to be this baby’s Mom. If I were, Sherrie would have snuggled into my welcoming arms immediately.” Perhaps, Retha could have put me back into my grandmother’s arms and spoken comfor

<p>Rejection. Just the sound of the word sends chills up my spine!<br /> Rejection is the dark side of the search and reunion process. The<br /> agonizing side. The side that is rarely, if ever, talked about, the side media never covers.<br /> However, rejection need not define us. Here&#8217;s why.</p>

<p>1. Anyone can make love, but only God can create a life. (credit: Lee Ezell) 2. Even though my birth parents didn&#8217;t plan my life, God did. My life is not a mistake. 3. Every day of my life was planned before any one of them ever came to be—no coincidences! 4. I was removed [&hellip;]</p>