Sherrie's Blog

<p>After the man planted Little Pink Flower in his white jar, he expected that it would bloom during the summer, but it didn&#8217;t. When December came, even though the plant had green leaves, there was no flower. But suddenly, a pink flower popped from the green leaves, delighting the man beyond belief. He tells the plant that he knew she had the flower inside just waiting for right time to bloom.<br /> (Dedicated to late-blooming adopted and foster kids).</p>

<p>Who can even guess what the upcoming Christmas and Hanukah family celebrations will be like? If the gathering is virtual, it takes much pressure off adopted children. They can feel safe from being overstimulated. No matter whether virtual or physical. many adopted kids have a rough time. I&#8217;ve written these questions for you to share [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Almost every adoptee has a shadow following her. It&#8217;s the shadow of the First Mother. The shadow may be fleeting, fear-producing, fierce, or formidable. It all depends, for each adoptee and First Mother are unique, one of a kind. But, one thing is certain&#8211;adoptees who experience rejection from their First Mothers can dance again.</p>

<p>When I was interviewing adoptees for my upcoming book, I spent a lot of time asking them about their anger. I believe there is a thought that opens the gateway to open discussions with your child. The thought is&#8230;</p>

<p>For my whole life, I&#8217;ve believed that I&#8217;m clumsy. My.whole.life. I trip, fall, run into things, and go ballistic when I hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Just last week, I was working out at the gym with a friend. When we changed machines, she said with urgency, &#8220;Look out!&#8221; There was a machine [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Afterwards, he climbed to the highest part of the mountain where he could see a spectacular view of the Promised Land. The faithfulness and goodness of God were the last things he saw before he took his last breath. </p> <p>Afterwards, the same arms that carried him throughout life became the arms that carried his body to the grave. God was taking such intimate care of his own, for “no man knows his burial place to this day” (Deuteronomy 34: 6)</p> <p>Moses, the adoptee, h

<p>Ronald Nydam, Ph.D., in an article entitled “Doing Rejection” appearing in Jewel Among Jewels Adoption News said, “The task of all adoptees is to finally relinquish their relinquishment; that is, to really accept the decision of the birth parents to carry out their plan for adoption. If the original relinquishment is not relinquished, the adoptee may chronically hang on to the primal connection in such a way that she is never free to be fully adult. Doing rejection success

<p>Since the nation is cooped up inside with COVID, it may be a great time for some introspection about how this tough time is teaching us profound lessons in our faith walk with Jesus.</p> <p>As children of God, we are all in the process of being healed by the Great Physician, Jesus. His healing can be evidenced in newfound appreciation, as we learn to enjoy him and the life he has given us.</p> <p>Webster’s defines “appreciation” as, “To be grateful for; to value highly; to

<p>The late Brian Keck, between the age of 10 and 16, was placed in 27 foster homes, three adoptive placements, two group homes and one detention center. He went on to earn a degree in social work and is now dedicating himself to become an Olympic wrestler. He said in an article for Connections, a newsletter published by ATTACh, “The early years of my life had not been the fairytale that everybody dreams about. I feel that everybody has problems every day. The difference is h

<p>One night at a dinner party I listened as my host mused about his children: his son looks like his grandfather, but does not have his disposition; his first daughter has his reserved and deep nature; his second daughter looks like his wife’s brother and shares his interest in science. Without being conscious of it, he was telling me how his children are connected to the family. Adopted children never hear their parents make such conversation. They don’t know who they resem

<p>Adopted children spend an exorbitant amount of psychic time in fantasy. They may seem to be sitting quietly in their rooms, or just looking out the window, when really they are deep in the Ghost Kingdom imagining scenarios that might have been or still might be…These fantasies are not just the passing fancies with which most people empower themselves at various periods of their lives but actual reality for the adoptee’s inner, secret self. They are the mother replacement:

<p>in order to study Moses and what we can learn from him, we must remember that his struggles were evidence of something deeper that must be dealt with. We&#8217;re going to look at the first part of his life prior to adoption and discover that his painful past doesn&#8217;t surface as memories of the past, but reactions to current life events.<br /> Usually, the reactions are OVER-REACTIONS to current day events. As a friend of mine says, &#8220;Adoptees have an exclamatio

<p>Why do many of us see life through a lens of rejection? Why do unanswered phone calls, emails, and letters spell R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N to us? Will we ever get over it? Why is our self-esteem not low, but non-existent? Why do we try to be like others instead of being ourselves? Do we even know who we are? Why are we afraid we’ll be too much to handle and why are goodbye’s so difficult? Why do we have meltdowns on birthdays when everyone is kind? Why aren’t their efforts ever en

<p>During this COVID-19 crisis, remind your child that it is alright to express overwhelming feelings. It is not only all right, but it is crucial if she is to be healthy and whole. But as you give your child permission to express herself, also teach her that obnoxious behavior for its own sake is futile. Validate her feelings, but don&#8217;t let her &#8220;run the show&#8221; in your home. Rather, be the parent in a loving, strong way. This will help her to keep moving on t

<p>And so at birth, love mingled with loss, like water and oil. This combination waged war inside me, from birth onward. Avoid abandonment at all costs and seek love no matter whom the giver. Loss sent me on a lifetime quest to find freedom from deeply-embedded fears of abandonment that warred against my ability to receive love.</p>

<p>It seems the world has flipped upside down with the Corona virus. What makes this a doubly-critical time for adoptees and foster kids is that the crisis reflects our raw reality&#8211;everything familiar was lost when our first parents (or second or third) signed relinquishment papers and we were removed. More than anything right now, adopted kids need to be reminded that even though the world changes, the love of their parents never does. Sherrie offers a metaphor to use

<p><!-- wp:paragraph --></p> <p>It&#8217;s such a basic need of adopted kids to have connection, with you, friends, and other family members. But, we&#8217;re all called to social distancing, which may be incredibly difficult for adopted kids.</p> <p><!-- /wp:paragraph --></p> <p><!-- wp:paragraph --></p> <p>I&#8217;m going to share three ideas here that speak to this need of adopted kids. I&#8217;m hesitant to share, for it seems terribly simplistic and I&#8217;m sure you&#8

<p>How I wish mom and I knew about what will be shared . We would have been freed from the war between us and enjoyed an intimate parent/child relationship that only comes from tough self-examination of both child and parent.<br /> </p>

<p>I couldn&#8217;t believe it when This Is Us&#8217;s Randall wore a ski cap to the event that Kevin took their mom to! Of course, he and Kevin were in an all-out battle about who could take better care of their aging mom, as dementia set in. The scene of Kevin taking his mom to the [&hellip;]</p>

<p>It’s painful to enter into your child’s suffering. It’s so much easier to assume that all is well inside your child, especially if she hasn’t manifested any obvious problems. But all adopted children have been wounded, simply because they experienced a profound loss before they were embraced by their new family. The first thing your child wants you to know is this: I am a grieving child. I came to you because of loss—one that was not your fault and that you can’t erase