Sherrie's Blog

<p>Hell yes, adoptees are angry! Excuse my French&#8230;I’m just a veteran adoptee, finally free from anger’s choking grip, and ready to hunt bear on behalf of my fellow adoptees and foster kids who believe that their anger might be a life sentence.</p> <p>Up until now, most adoptees have believed there’s no hope for resolving overwhelming and uncontrollable anger issues. They accept “I&#8217;m just an angry person” misbelief.  Many adoption agencies hid the topic of our ange

<p>Specific present-day circumstances can trigger my profound wound of losing Elizabeth, my first Mom. What I&#8217;m about to share is personal and I&#8217;m asking that you&#8217;ll read with mercy and grace. I hope this post will be helpful to both adoptive parents and fellow adoptees who struggle with abandonment and rejection issues. Perhaps, for these, the flow of painful memories might be uncontrollable. And, these painful memories become triggers that cause a meltdow

<p>Most adoptive parents will identify with the challenges of raising an adopted child. The mother and father were brother and sister and had never raised children. They made typical mistakes that almost all parents do, but the challenges were often magnified because they had no backstory, no parental training or education, and no awareness that parenting an adopted child is taxing, to say the least. Anne really got on their nerves with her hyper excitement and boldness in re

<p>Who can even imagine how Retha felt? Perhaps, like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on her? She must have shaken in shock, like we all do when something unfathomable happens. It would be easy for her to read rejection into my screams. “Maybe my baby doesn’t like me, or maybe I’m not suited to be this baby’s Mom. If I were, Sherrie would have snuggled into my welcoming arms immediately.” Perhaps, Retha could have put me back into my grandmother’s arms and spoken comfor

<p>Rejection. Just the sound of the word sends chills up my spine!<br /> Rejection is the dark side of the search and reunion process. The<br /> agonizing side. The side that is rarely, if ever, talked about, the side media never covers.<br /> However, rejection need not define us. Here&#8217;s why.</p>

<p>1. Anyone can make love, but only God can create a life. (credit: Lee Ezell) 2. Even though my birth parents didn&#8217;t plan my life, God did. My life is not a mistake. 3. Every day of my life was planned before any one of them ever came to be—no coincidences! 4. I was removed [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Is it okay to ask the hospital where I was born for my medical records? Is it okay to ask for non-identifying information about my birth mother and birth father? Is it okay to say that I’m curious about them and might like to meet them some day? Is it okay to be angry about my birth mother&#8217;s decision to relinquish? Is it okay to search for my birth family? Is it okay to seek out other birth relatives if my birth mother rejects me at our reunion?<br /> These are a few

<p>After the man planted Little Pink Flower in his white jar, he expected that it would bloom during the summer, but it didn&#8217;t. When December came, even though the plant had green leaves, there was no flower. But suddenly, a pink flower popped from the green leaves, delighting the man beyond belief. He tells the plant that he knew she had the flower inside just waiting for right time to bloom.<br /> (Dedicated to late-blooming adopted and foster kids).</p>

<p>Who can even guess what the upcoming Christmas and Hanukah family celebrations will be like? If the gathering is virtual, it takes much pressure off adopted children. They can feel safe from being overstimulated. No matter whether virtual or physical. many adopted kids have a rough time. I&#8217;ve written these questions for you to share [&hellip;]</p>

<p>When I was asked to be trained as a Teaching Leader for Bible Study Fellowship in California, I felt so insignificant compared to the other woman who got training with me. One time during that week-long, arduous training, another woman peeked inside the car where I was seated and said, “You are just as good and talented as her.” It didn’t help me and made me even more nervous that others could tell I had no self worth. I thought I was hiding it. Then, at the end of the wee

<p>Almost every adoptee has a shadow following her. It&#8217;s the shadow of the First Mother. The shadow may be fleeting, fear-producing, fierce, or formidable. It all depends, for each adoptee and First Mother are unique, one of a kind. But, one thing is certain&#8211;adoptees who experience rejection from their First Mothers can dance again.</p>

<p>When I was interviewing adoptees for my upcoming book, I spent a lot of time asking them about their anger. I believe there is a thought that opens the gateway to open discussions with your child. The thought is&#8230;</p>

<p>For my whole life, I&#8217;ve believed that I&#8217;m clumsy. My.whole.life. I trip, fall, run into things, and go ballistic when I hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Just last week, I was working out at the gym with a friend. When we changed machines, she said with urgency, &#8220;Look out!&#8221; There was a machine [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Afterwards, he climbed to the highest part of the mountain where he could see a spectacular view of the Promised Land. The faithfulness and goodness of God were the last things he saw before he took his last breath. </p> <p>Afterwards, the same arms that carried him throughout life became the arms that carried his body to the grave. God was taking such intimate care of his own, for “no man knows his burial place to this day” (Deuteronomy 34: 6)</p> <p>Moses, the adoptee, h

<p>Ronald Nydam, Ph.D., in an article entitled “Doing Rejection” appearing in Jewel Among Jewels Adoption News said, “The task of all adoptees is to finally relinquish their relinquishment; that is, to really accept the decision of the birth parents to carry out their plan for adoption. If the original relinquishment is not relinquished, the adoptee may chronically hang on to the primal connection in such a way that she is never free to be fully adult. Doing rejection success

<p>Since the nation is cooped up inside with COVID, it may be a great time for some introspection about how this tough time is teaching us profound lessons in our faith walk with Jesus.</p> <p>As children of God, we are all in the process of being healed by the Great Physician, Jesus. His healing can be evidenced in newfound appreciation, as we learn to enjoy him and the life he has given us.</p> <p>Webster’s defines “appreciation” as, “To be grateful for; to value highly; to

<p>The late Brian Keck, between the age of 10 and 16, was placed in 27 foster homes, three adoptive placements, two group homes and one detention center. He went on to earn a degree in social work and is now dedicating himself to become an Olympic wrestler. He said in an article for Connections, a newsletter published by ATTACh, “The early years of my life had not been the fairytale that everybody dreams about. I feel that everybody has problems every day. The difference is h

<p>Fear of rejection is like a monkey on the backs of many adopted kids, teens, and adults. Most tend to see rejection when none was intended. The turning around instead of being face to face. An unanswered text. Being stood up for a date with a first parent.</p> <p>Is this a permanent disability? Will adopted kids ever get over it? Can they throw the monkey off their back?</p> <p>Only with hard personal work can we heal.  However, healing doesn&#8217;t mean that the tendency

<p>One night at a dinner party I listened as my host mused about his children: his son looks like his grandfather, but does not have his disposition; his first daughter has his reserved and deep nature; his second daughter looks like his wife’s brother and shares his interest in science. Without being conscious of it, he was telling me how his children are connected to the family. Adopted children never hear their parents make such conversation. They don’t know who they resem

<p>Adopted children spend an exorbitant amount of psychic time in fantasy. They may seem to be sitting quietly in their rooms, or just looking out the window, when really they are deep in the Ghost Kingdom imagining scenarios that might have been or still might be…These fantasies are not just the passing fancies with which most people empower themselves at various periods of their lives but actual reality for the adoptee’s inner, secret self. They are the mother replacement: