Sherrie's Blog

<p>So, I pulled the poor thing out of the pot, setting it on a nearby wagon. It seemed there was no hope, but it seemed worth a try.</p> <p>That evening, it rained like crazy and the next morning I went out to see the plant, thinking it was totally wiped out by the heavy rains.</p> <p>But, no! it&#8217;s leaves were popping up to the sky again.<br /> I couldn&#8217;t believe my eyes!</p>

<p>Sherrie couldn&#8217;t figure out why life&#8217;s circumstance felt like she was being painted into a corner. As a control freak, this was incredibly distressing. What she didn&#8217;t realize is that she was at the threshold of healing. A MRI of her adoptee heart clarified the diagnosis. </p>

<p>We Adoptees and foster kids have clung for decades to the validation of Nancy Verrier, author of The Primal Wound. But why? She is an adoptive mom and her perspective is oh so different than that of an adoptee. Are adoptees willing to move out of the :self valida</p>

<p>Sometimes, parents are ill-equipped to teach their children emotional awareness, thus increasing the child&#8217;s Emotional IQ. They may be fearful, believing that emotions like sadness or anger can be harmful. They may be controlling, seeing negative emotions as something they&#8217;re responsible to fix, or they may feel it their responsibility to help the child understand that the emotion is no big deal. Ouch! So, how can adoptive parents become emotional coaches for t

<p>The innermost fear of many adopted humans—Is my life a mistake?This is the deepest, darkest shame possible and none of your children would admit it to you. Trust me, MOST adoptees struggle with this question.What is needed for the questioning child? </p>

<p>Imagine a five-year old whose parents were wiped out in a car wreck. She&#8217;s just attended their funeral and then witnessed their coffins lowered six feet into the ground. If you were to strike up a conversation with this child as her aunt takes her hand and leads her to the car, what do you [&hellip;]</p>

<p>What I didn’t know is that for the adoptee, there are two kinds of anger—real, God-given anger for when we’re in danger. It’s the proverbial red light on the dashboard, alerting us to the fact that something needs attention.The other kind of anger is mis-placed anger, which runs rampant in adoptee and foster kid hearts. It’s based on lies we’ve come to believe and never question…after all, it’s just part of us, right?No, not right.</p>

<p>I still remember landing in Reno and driving at night to meet him. He was extremely ill, but he rose to the occasion and we had a blast with him, his son, and daugher in law. We talked daily and he always ended the conversation, &#8220;I love you with all my heart, sis.&#8221; He died unexpectedly before we could meet again.</p>

<p>For, YOU, dear one, are the gift, the heirloom to the next generation.</p> <p>Yes, every single inch of you that lives the daily grind is part and parcel of your legacy. Your strengths and weaknesses, your challenges and failures, your dreams and goals.</p>

<p>If you pick up an empty bottle that once contained expensive perfume, its possible to still distinguish the fine fragrance, even though the bottle is empty. Adoptive mamas, you are the perfume and you want your life and love to be a timeless fragrance of fine perfume for your adopted and foster child. That’s what [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Dear friends&#8230;I am pleased to introduce you to Mari Galligher, an Irish adoptive mom. She is soooo brave. When you read about the current adoption atmosphere in Ireland, you will be amazed that she has broken silence in a country that doesn&#8217;t talk about adoption. Please welcome her, and give her a big hug. Love, [&hellip;]</p>

<p>Many of us adoptees wonder if anger is our life sentence. It&#8217;s been a constant companion since childhood and even though attempts like counseling have been made to quell it, it&#8217;s a strong as ever. Once a counselor told me to just scream when I feel angry. The next time I felt angry, I screamed [&hellip;]</p>

<p>When adoptive and foster mamas hear their child&#8217;s back story, they may experience grief for their child and doubts as to whether or not they can successfully parent that child. What they don&#8217;t know is that they&#8217;ve been wired for this calling as a mama. Hearing Sherrie&#8217;s story about her mom will help mamas to see why they can be confident in the calling and parenting.</p>

<p>Adoptive and foster parents want to get their kids everything for on their kid’s Santa list. There’s one gift the kids really want but don’t share. Sherrie spills the beans here.</p>

<p>As her child, in the deep loss, I would have loved to have a timeless memory that she&#8217;d created for me. Something I could hold in my hands and remember the values and beliefs she held dear.</p> <p>I&#8217;m sure she wondered with an attachment disordered kid what I would say about her effectiveness in parenting. Would I ever say she was a loving mom? </p>

<p>This young man represents all the adopted and foster kids, teens, and adults who have been diagnosed with RAD. It is not his fault that he was removed from the care of his first family and placed in the care of other parents who were insecure in their ability to nurture such a child. Sherrie does a rant and then reminds fellow sufferers of a truth that will anchor them for life.</p>

<p>As an adopted person, I wish my mom would have let me know the truth about hurting her with my anger instead of  just biting the bullet and swallowing hard until the next rage. How are we kids to learn what anger costs those who love us? In some ways, just ignoring the anger spree [&hellip;]</p>

<p>This photo of a child with a deer illustrates the world of the adopted and fostered child. Parents struggle big time to enter their child&#8217;s world when explaining relinquishment. Sherrie teaches how to communicate love vs. shame.</p>

<p>This baby&#8217;s cries are vital for developing connections between parent and child. You will be surprised at what the parental role is in this entire phenomena. Of course. adopted and foster babies have a cry that will reflect trauma&#8230;they may be daunting to listen to. Here&#8217;s how to begin.</p>

<p>When we adoptees and foster kids are hurting badly, we lack a lot of discernment about who to share our innermost thoughts with. This post teaches how to find safe people by looking at three characteristics that must be present to qualify a person as safe. This is also applicable to anyone who is hurting.</p>