How Adoptive Moms Can Reverse Their Child’s Misplaced Anger

You’re not alone.

Understand What Your Validation Says To Your Child

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Validate “Flung” Anger

Back to your child’s healing…f

Again, sessions with an adoption competent therapist will help tremendously. Check out Bryan Post from The POST INSTITUTE. postinstitute.com/tag/bryan–post.  

Here is a list of Adoption Competent Therapists from the Center for Adoption Education and Support. I think the world of them. https://adoptionsupport.org/member-types/adoption-competent-professionals/

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Next, let’s turn the angry accusations into validation and regulation.

Turn Angry Accusations into Validating and Regulating Statements

The old axiom that “practice makes perfect” applies here. I’ve concocted these examples to help you practice your validations and regulating statements: 

1. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.

Put On Your Yellow Rain Slicker

The last topic here is a tool for your own self-regulation. It was shared with me on my FB page–What Parents Can Do When Adopted Kids Reject Their Love.

When your child flings rejecting, hateful, and angry statements at you, imagine putting on a yellow rain slicker–your yellow rain slicker.

When the hurtful remarks come like pelting rain, they will have no power to hurt you. They will roll off you, like raindrops.

We now know that the secret ingredient for reversing misplaced anger is validation of “flung anger.”

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